Posts Tagged ‘referral’

Find YOUR doctor, not just A doctor.

July 21, 2010

Recently, I was talking with a friend who mentioned her doctor had recommended she needed to find a specialist pretty quickly. This was the second time her doctor had made that recommendation.  When I asked why she hadn’t done it, she said she didn’t even know where to begin.  For anyone who is suddenly diagnosed with a serious illness or the possibility of a serious illness, determining what steps to take next can be overwhelming.  Finding the right doctor, at a time when our mind is spinning, can seem truly beyond our ability. Often, our physician will refer us to a colleague or we might be expected to look at the list of doctors on our insurance plan and pick one.  Sounds like the easiest and best solution.  But, there is a catch to that solution.

When we are faced with a potential serious long term or life-threatening illness, it becomes critical that whatever doctors we choose to work with are doctors that we trust and like and feel really comfortable with.  While this is true for any doctor, we often settle for the most convenient or easiest get an appointment with. Since we usually see them infrequently for physicals and acute illnesses, we can forgive an abrupt bedside manner or the harried energy.  However, when we will be seeing a doctor frequently, when we have to rely on them for our lives, when we need to be able to comfortably talk about all of our symptoms with them, when we need their undivided attention, it becomes critical that we don’t settle but that we choose.

But choosing, taking the time to interview several doctors, researching who is covered by our insurance plan, getting recommendations, can all be overwhelming when all we can think about is the illness and what it means for us.  That is when it is critical to find an advocate–someone to help you sort out all the pieces, to listen with you at doctor’s appointments, to help you define the questions you need answered and to help those questions get asked.  An advocate can be anyone–a friend, a partner, a child or parent, or a professional who is trained to help.

Several months ago, one of my friends, who was finishing her chemotherapy, said she was glad she was done because now she could start looking for an oncologist she liked and felt good with.   I asked why now and she said because she didn’t feel like she could change doctors once the chemo started, but that she had never really felt comfortable with her oncologist.  She said when she was diagnosed and referred, she had just been in such shock, she had gone along with the referred doctor and then felt stuck. How much harder that makes our treatment and recovery!

It is our life and our health and we need to feel comfortable and informed to make the best decisions and choices. Finding an advocate who can be there with you and for you can make a huge difference.  It will allow you to take the time to find YOUR doctor, not just A doctor for your care. And that can make all the difference in your ability to recover and heal.

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